Story of Baby

I was asked to write our story for a non-profit organization that helped us get the supplies we needed with our surprise baby, so I thought I’d share it here.  Pregnancy Care Line has been a big help for us, and they help a lot of women, I just wish more women knew about them. They help with unplanned pregnancies in a positive environment, no more cold, sterile, abortion clinics.  And they help women who have been traumatized after an abortion, as well as many other services.  There so much more out there than women know of.  And I found all this out when I took a picture of a sign in a mall for my cousin who thought she was pregnant.

We weren’t supposed to be able to get pregnant.  Even the doctors didn’t think we could. So when I developed morning sickness, it would be 2 months before we would find out I was pregnant. The doctors had prescribed a medication for the nausea believing it was from the antibiotics I had taken.  For some reason, that order never reached the pharmacy. If it had, it would have been very bad for the baby. The doctors never tested to see if I was pregnant. But when I was still sick after 2 months, I thought maybe I would take a test, just for kicks and giggles.  My husband was at work, it was the middle of the day when I sent him a text message that the test was positive. I was on medication that your not supposed to take while pregnant and I see specialist that usually have 3-6 month waiting lists. We knew the Lord was with this child when we started calling for appointments.  That Monday we went to our regular family physician, walked in first thing in the morning and was seen within minutes, and they’re not a walk-in. We called the other 2 specialists and they had cancellations the same week, we were seen within a few days, a true miracle.

 

We wanted to keep it a secret until after the first Trimester, but with my dad near death, we thought the news might bring my mom hope. She bought us a crib the next day. Within a week everyone knew.  As nervous as we were, it just felt right, we could feel that God was with us, everything was just falling into place. But we had no idea how we would afford a baby with both of us out of work.

A few months later, I had to find maternity clothes for a seasonal job.  I soon discovered that none of the chain stores carried maternity clothes anymore.  Also couldn’t find them at the familiar second hand shops. With my son already 10 years old, I had no idea where baby places were.  I called everywhere, got so many referrals, and no help. Well, I had taken a picture of a sign in the mall for my cousin, who was being risky with her boyfriends, and decided to call Pregnancy Care to see if they knew of any other places I could get help with clothing.  I had no idea of all the services they provided, I thought they just helped with unwanted pregnancies. They have been the biggest blessing to us. We tell everyone we know about them.

 

Each meeting with the counselors is uplifting and helpful. Many things we, as time worn parents, already knew, but had forgotten; but there have been many things we didn’t. The sessions have shown us new methods of understanding our baby before she even new how to communicate. The resources and other things the center has provided has meant a great deal.

Old-school teethers

My son, now 11 years old, has sensory processing disorder.   There are many theories on what causes this.   One is the lack of stimulation in today’s environment.   Babies world is all smooth plastic and cotton.  It’s safe, clean, and sterile.  Before plastic, it was wood, porcelain, wool, cotton, hay, leather, and dirt; many, many textures.

Perhaps the first place this is impacted is oral development.   Babies put everything in their mouths.  And when they start teething and chewing,  what do we give them? Plastic tethers.  They eat Baby Food from a jar that has been processed to all the San texture.  My pediatrician is upset cause our baby doesn’t eat enough jars of food, I couldn’t tell you how many jars my son ate cause we didn’t buy baby food.   But what did they use and eat before these modern miracles?  I didn’t know until recently, my baby told me.  She loves chewing on my leather purse strap.   My mom told me that’s what they used to give babies when she was little!  So I went looking for my leather scrap kit & found a long string of leather and tied a few knots in it.  

You know what else they used? This one is my favorite, sugar cane.   I’ve posted on this one before, it’s a southern thing and time for me to cut more down.  Really, they used whatever they had laying around,  like carrot sticks, oh how babyfry likes this one.  

GoPro No Go: A Real Review

I dud my homework, I researched and reviewed, I think they’re all psid or bribed, cause they’re all wrong! I’m just going to say it, the GoPro sucks. It doesn’t matter which one, they’re all basically the same, a few extra features here and there,  a few hundred dollars difference, but mostly the same.   Like the iPhone,  they keep making new ones that sound great so you want to spend more stupid money for a useless upgrade.
My son wanted one for Boyscouts, he’s 11, so I researched it.   Why should I buy a Go pro?  I really couldn’t find anything negative.  I even found how they were great for new mom’s because they’re small and virtually indestructible, sounds great for an 11 year old boy.  Well,  let me tell you what it’s not.

1. It doesn’t have a view finder.
2. It doesn’t have a focus.
3. No flash or lowlight setting.
4. Doesn’t Point and shoot.

What it does have is a fish-eye lense so you get a wide angle view and hopefully capture the image you want (whom will not appreciate looking fat).   After some practice  (or lots in my case) you’ll get the hang of it. But how many great moments do you have to miss?  

Also, it’s a ‘one size fits all, meaning it’s set on one focus.  It doesn’t zoom in or out, it has an ideal range where everything looks good (just fat).  Too close or too far and it’s blurry.  You can install the app on your phone and use it to focus, but if your going to do that,  why not just take the picture with your phone?

No flash or lowlight setting means it won’t work indoors, unless it’s very well lit.  So forget that first trip in the ball pit with the baby.  Camping?  No campfire pictures unless you bring out the spotlight.  Baby crawling for the first time?  Won’t work in my house  (neither would my old cell phone, good reason to upgrade, can’t do that with a GoPro either).

It has a photo setting, but its a long way down on the list.  Fortunately,  there is a ‘fast startup’ option you can turn on in the settings.  If you don’t turn this on, it won’t work.  With this setting, you can press the power button to record video, press and hold for time-lapse pictures.  My phone has a fast start button for the camera too.  It also has flash and I can adjust all kinds of settings, take a single photo, time-lapse, video,  adjust the focus,  and not have a fat fish photo all without carrying a separate device, and have the ability to make phone calls and surf the internet.   Tell me again why I want a GoPro?

GoPro has a place, it’s great if your a crazy extreme adventurist.  Then again, maybe a military spec cell phone with ‘find me’ GPS would be better in that case too.

I Quit

I’ve just been done with it recently.  Done with what?  Everything.  Yesterday I went to bed at 4 pm and stayed there until 6:30 AM today.  I’ve had a headache/migraine for 2 months with barely a day off here and there, and it only seems to get worse.  Last visit to my neurologist a week ago and we decided to try something new.  That means quitting what I’m taking (aka rebound headache), and waiting 3 months for the next medicine to work, if it does work, so the headaches have been unbearable.

I found a new possible treatment for fibromyalgia, I’m so excited!  The tuberculosis vaccine apparently cures many kinds of autoimmune problems, including multiple sclerosis and diabetes type 1, I know, total shocker!  What is even more of a shock, is there is a genetic test with a 93% accuracy rate for fibromyalgia that is covered by insurance, and yet no one knows about it.  Its called FM/a.  When my mom in law tagged me on Facebook, I thought, this can’t be real, its on Facebook, nothing on Facebook is real.  So I looked it up, and its real!  The Veterans Disability accepts it as proof of disability, Medicare covers it, thats how valid it is.  So I signed up, unfortunately, being the end of the year and everyone getting new insurance, no one is accepting it until next year.  I can’t get a new doctor, or tests, or healthcare for another two week.  The downfall of Obamacare.  If my posts were more popular, I’d get slammed with a bunch more complaints of how awful his plan is, but I don’t complain, it saved my husbands life and has been a Godsend for us, when we qualify.  Florida hasn’t expanded Medicaid so, most of the time, we don’t qualify for any healthcare.

Add to that the Fibro flare and fatigue.  I literally laid down and cried myself to sleep.  My husband called me for dinner at 7:30, but I couldn’t eat, I haven’t eaten in 2 days, that requires energy.  My nutritional input consists of coffee, and not even good coffee, with benefiber.

The source of all this misery?  Work.  I started with Arise call center.  It involves a 2-hour class then 4 hours of homework, all from the ‘comfort’ of my home, which is actually the un-comfort of my computer.  And the 4 hours of homework was more like 6-8 hours with fibro-fog and migraines.

I’m finding this morning a little more tolerable since I found my old prescription of zanaflex (a muscle relaxant that knocks me out) and my dad’s tramadol.  I’m still in agonizing pain, but I’m functioning.  Class is almost over, ends next Friday, and 2 of those days are holidays.  I have to do the homework I didn’t do yesterday, not that I actually ‘do it’, I found a way to just click through and then guess at the test questions since we can repeat as many times as we want.  It takes me less than 2-hours now.  And today the baby is at the sitter and my son is at his friend, so I have the day off.  Think I’ll skip my usual clean and baby-proof.  The house looks great from previous weeks, but I’ve been overdoing it and paying for it.  I’m considering visiting ER later today and getting some stronger pain medicine.  Until then, just keep praying (think Dory “just keep swimming”).

 

Gluten-free Summer Camp

Or Spring-break, intersession, soccer camp, 4-H, Winter camp, whatever it is your kids do, most can’t cater to gluten-free. We are going to Cub-Ex this week.  I have to pack food for us and one other boy.  But gluten-free is sooo easy!  They just don’t realize that if you don’t eat junk, its gluten-free.  If they would just exclude sauces, gravy’s and pre-made seasonings then the food would be healthier and gluten-free, and probably safer for a bunch of other allergies, like dairy.  For example, mashed potatoes and gravy.  Ask for that in gluten-free and most people have not clue that gravy is thickened with wheat and they’ll tell you its gluten-free and you’ll have issues.  So, why not just serve the gravy on the side?  Then you can offer alternatives like butter or margarine, this way it also caters to low-salt and low-cholesterol diets too.  It also offers a vegan alternative, who!  You just created 4 special diets by offering gravy on the side!  Chicken alfredo? The sauce is thickened with wheat, its also gross and chalky, and you don’t even want to know what the ingredients are!  Make it from scratch and its simple, coconut, butter, and cheese.  In a can, it contains all kinds of allergens. But serve the sauce on the side.  Now you have diary-free chicken.  Again, you now cater to dairy-free, low-salt, low-cholesterol, gluten-free (if you also serve the pasta on the side).

Here’s another brilliant idea, serve rice whenever you serve pasta, a gluten-free alternative!   Serving spaghetti for dinner?  Sorry, you have to check the labels on this one, some do have wheat in them.  Or, just skip the meat flavored & sausage flavored, and generally your OK.  If you do that, you know have a vegetarian option too.  Instead, serve meat on the side, if you want to put meat in it, that part gets expensive.  If you don’t want to do all that, just go with Ragu, they don’t thicken with meat, sorry, its more expensive than the canned crap, but it tastes much better, BONUS!!

Don’t fry foods with breading or floured.  Believe it or not, food cooks just as well without being floured or breaded, WOW!  I deep fry chicken all the time,naked, think naked hot wings.  Baking them is different, they need something, like mayonnaise or butter, coconut oil works best, or they come out dry.

Bake in oil not sauce.  Or just use a baking bag, there are BPA, but your only serving for such a short time, the exposure is minimal.  This is going to depend on other allergies, you just need a separate pan for your gluten-frees.  Coconut oil really works best on this, but, if you have a nut allergy, things get crazy.  Butter is the next best alternative.  Mayonnaise works extremely well in this arena too and can go on any meat, its generally made with eggs & olive oil, so shouldn’t affect allergies either.  Of course, you could just keep it simple & use olive oil.

So, quick summary of super simple gluten-free for serving the masses.

1. serve sauces & gravys on the side
2. serve pasta on the side, offer rice as another option
3. don’t use seasoning blends (better yet, don’t use any seasoning & put salt & pepper on the table)
4. Don’t use meat flavored or sausage flavored tomato sauce (AKA spaghetti sauce)
5. Nothing breaded or floured.  Fry food naked, it works just as well.
6. Bake with olive oil or a baking bag instead of sauces to keep it simple.

Thats it, easy peasy gluten-free.

Feeling Better, Feeling Worse

I didn’t realize how much better I felt after the baby was born, and perhaps whole pregnant.  Perhaps the fatigue was different.  I had thrown myself into boyscouts and 4-H, had returned to work.  Then, suddenly, in August,  the migraines returned.   Then I started back on my migraine prophylaxis.   The first time I started on it, I had suffered a migraine for 2 years.  Yes, I wrote that correctly,  a migraine for 2 years, not migraines for 2 years.  I was in the emergency room every 2 weeks.  Any relief was better than the migraine.  So I didn’t notice any side-effects.  This time, I hadn’t had a severe migraine in a very long time, so when I started back on the topiramate,  the side-effects were life-altering.  The fatigue is over-whelming.  Let’s add to that, my personal conclusion that I don’t have fibromyalgia, I have migraines,  all my fibromyalgia symptoms are actually from the migraines or the medications.   I didn’t suffer overwhelming fatigue until I started back on the topiramate or after a migraine.  I’m not in a lot of pain (except for my back) except before & during a migraine. When the migraines are coming one on top of the other, the before, during, and after symptoms all collide.

Baby Monitors

Call me ‘old school, but I fail to understand why my baby monitor needs a video feed.   All I need to know is if my baby is crying then I will go check on her.   I have no plans on leaving her alone to play and needing video to see if she’s safe. Or perhaps this is a ‘helicopter mom’s necessity.  And I haven’t figured out how to use my phone. Do I prop my phone in front of my baby then generate in front of the computer?  Or does this trick require 2 phones?  At any rate, I lack the addiction to sit in front of electronics  that   much.  My husband would probably love it though.

Perhaps some of you younger whipper snappers can educate me on this necessity.  Or how to use my phone as a baby monitor.   Until then, I’m going old school and buying a 900 MHz dual channel baby monitor.   Not Wi-Fi because ours is so flakey.

Better Bonding over the Bottle

I would never encourage a mom to bottle feed ‘Just because’ sometimes it is necessary.  I breastfed my first for 18 months,  but with my new baby, I had to let go at 3 months.  I lamented and tortured myself over this decision.   My 2 biggest fears were the health of my baby and our bond.   Let’s cover bonding first. 

I believed that a mom bonded over breastfeeding, we are indoctrinated into this faith.   If you don’t breastfeed,  you don’t get the same bond.   Well that’s just silly,  I carried this baby one my belly for over 9 months, we’re bonded!  Babies love their mom’s no matter what, because they’re mommy.  You can beat, abuse, and starve your baby and she will still love you.  So, if, like me, you feel guilty that you won’t be able to bond with your baby because you’re bottle feeding, relax.  In fact, I find the bond is even better than breastfeeding, I’ll go more into that later.

As for babies health, everyone knows breastmilk is best, it’s made just for babies by nature & God.   It has immunity & the perfect balance of fat, protein, etc.  And everybody knows that formula-fed babies get sick more often.  Or do they?  Baby fry has been sick once in her whole 5 months of life, and she was over it in less than 24 hours.  So that fear was unfounded.  As for the nutritional value, she was starving to death,  literally, on my breast milk.  She has feeding issues that prevented her from properly stimulating my breasts.  Then, she didn’t,  still doesn’t,  eat enough, we have to put extra calories in her formula and still struggle to make her growth curve go up.  So breast isn’t always best.

And now for the stat of the show, bonding over the Bottle has been so much stronger,  fun, better, than it ever was breastfeeding.  That’s right, the bond us BETTER!  I never would have thought it possible.   How so you ask?  When you breastfeed you stare lovingly into that big beautiful eye.  The other eye is somewhere under your boob.  And, have to look down,  turn your head.   When you bottle-feed, you hold baby in a hug, look into both, big gorgeous eyes, she stares lovingly back, my heart melts.  It’s just so much more comfortable (We still use a pillow by the way).  Also, she is closer to my face.   If you thought that tiny little hand on your breast was cute, OMG, it doesn’t compare to that little hand reaching up and patting you on the cheek!  I almost died of cuteness. 
So, mom’s, if your babies health or your health is at risk due to breastfeeding, don’t sweat it, bottle feeding is truly awesome.  I’ve done both.  The only thing I miss about breastfeeding is not having to make bottles in the middle of the night (and the money)!

If your having difficulties breastfeeding, there are several resources.   Free resources are Healthy Families,  Healthy Start or WIC (Our didn’t have a lactation expert,  but they could refer us to resourced). Your doctor/insurance may refer upu to an ENT (needs a referral from your pediatrician,  a feeding specialist  (this is a specialized occupational therapist, speech language pathologist,  also requires a referral and prior authorization).  La Leche League usually charges a few, as does your local hospital or birthing unit.

Lessons Learned After Irma

We are finally back home after evacuating from Hurricane Irma, and, as with each storm,  I’ve learned a few things from the evacuation.

1. It’s not a sudden emergency.   All this packing and preparation I’ve done every June was over kill.  I’m going to have a week to prepare.  The reason you shop in June us because there isn’t enough for everyone the day before the hurricane.  If everyone in the USA went to the store today & bought 1 gallon of water,  there wouldn’t be enough, yet everyone thinks they can wait until the hurricane comes to go shopping.
2. With my fibromyalgia, I can’t just pack up and leave.  That means we have to leave earlier & stay closer.  We need to leave earlier, stop more, and spend more money on hotels.  On the way out, it was a rush, we waited,  so we had to drive straight through.  When we stopped, I couldn’t walk.  I had to stand & lean against the van for several minutes until my back & legs could bear weight, much less move.
3. Only Verizon works in North Florida.   We had a 3-car caravan & lacked the ability to communicate.  So everytime granny had to pee, we would look in our rearview and realize we’re a car short.  Which also meant doing the ‘cell phone juggle’ to determine which phone we could use for GPS.  Paper maps would have been useful could we have found them.

Diapers & Hurricanes

What do the two have in common?  Lots of traveling.  I’ve been meaning to wrote this for a long time, now I’m bored, and, after a 7-hour road trip turned into 12 with a 5-month baby, I figured now is a good time to share.   For those who don’t want to read on, our favorite is Huggies,  they are the least bulky & the least leaky.  Keep in  mind, every baby is different,  their skin is different. My one girlfriend had one baby get a rash from Huggies & the other from Pampers.  Babyfry reacts to Luvs and develops a rash overnight.  If you’re really strapped for cash, generics have improved immensely since my son 11 years ago & we have had no problems with them. Our only complaint is that they tend to fit poorly.  The Members Mark tend to get crooked & crawl up her but and they fit really big.  Parents choice was a very comparable diaper.
A great way to save money on diapers is Amazon Prime Autoship.  I made excel spreadsheet,  compared prices, and this really is the best deal.  Buy the large pack, 200-300 diapers, and it’s cheaper than buying in store.

Huggies comes in several styles.  First there’s little Snugglers or Any N Dry, the main difference being price.  Then, at size 3 (18 pounds) we found Little Movers, which sounded like a really great idea.  Designed for wrigglers, has double Velcro so it doesn’t get crooked, can buy it predestined so you can slide them on like pull-up on not pre fastened.  We quickly hated these.   Twice the Velcro meant twice the fighting with wiggly baby to fasten the diaper, and the first set always folded on itself and had to be opened a second time creating twice the work.  And slipping them on?  Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!  We have hardly put pants on little miss kicky,  I’m not even going to try pull-ups.

Oh, and buyer beware, I was in the store and saw Little Snugglers with this tricky double Velcro system.  I’m still hoping this was just a really vivid nightmare.